Baby Steps

Everything we do starts out small.  We have to work our way into new situations, be patient as we wait for answers and take everything we do one step at a time.

Evan is on his 2nd night in his big boy (toddler) bed.  We are trying to get him out of our bed because he is a bed HOG!  He is constantly putting his head or feet in my back (reminds me of when I was pregnant with him) or sharing my pillow or Tony's....needless to say we have both lost some sleep so we have decided it was time.  Although I really love having Evan right next to me in bed and I know that he is safe and sound and breathing, I know he cannot sleep with us forever so it is time.  For now we have his bed right against my side of the bed.  This is a baby step in the right direction.  Once he sleeps that way for a few weeks I will move his bed away from mine and against the wall and then eventually in his own room.  So far he is doing well.  He needs me to hold his hand while he falls asleep and he has to have my blanket to cuddle while he falls asleep, but again baby steps in the right direction.  He tries to come into our bed in the middle of the night but then I just lay him back down, hold his hand and he falls right back to sleep.  It's a start...we'll see what happens!

 His bed pressed right against mine.

My boy and his blankets!

Evan is also really interested in using the potty.  He often tells me that he has to pee and sits on the toilet, but does nothing.  He also likes to get his potty chair and bring it into the living room and sit on it forever...still he hasn't gone in it yet.  He tells me when he poops or tells me when he is pooping, and he usually hides or goes to another room.  These are sure signs that he is getting ready. Bampa is even teaching him how to pee outside....he thinks it's pretty cool!  Boys!!

 Learning to read while learning to pee....always learning!

"Seriously mom, could you leave me alone?"

My little guy is growing up so fast!  But everyday with him is new and wonderful for me and for him everyday is a chance for him to soak up more information and discover new things!

A productive, family weekend!

We had a great, relaxing and productive weekend. 

Saturday we went to Bellingham to see Nana and Papa and new baby Madison.  Evan fell in love with her at first sight.  He wasn't too sure what to make of Auntie Randi not being pregnant any more, and then seeing Madison he just lit right up!  While I was holding Madison, Evan told her the longest story I have ever heard him tell.  Of course it was in his own words, but I could make out bits of information such as Nana and Papa, mommy and daddy, Matt and Randi, outside, swing, Jana the dog and more.  After we ate dinner we set him up on the couch to hold Madison and the smile never left his face.  He looked so proud, he is going to be a wonderful big brother some day....I WILL make it happen :-)  When we got home Evan named his baby doll Madison and then took her for a ride in his truck.

                                                             A proud cousin....

She's "tute" mama!

On Sunday Evan and I mowed the lawn.  It felt really good to get it done since the lawn was in dire need of being mowed!  Evan loves to take one of his THREE lawn mowers and mow right along with me....I love how he has to do everything that we do.

                                                                      Taking a picture break

                                                             Check out the lawn mowing outfit!

Later on that day we decided to drive up Mt. Rainier a little ways.  We got just to Crystal and then we pulled off on to a fire service road for a little "off roading" mild style :-)  We drove about 2.5 miles and then stopped to stretch our legs and look at the view.  We were parked next to a pretty big drop off which made Tony REALLY nervous about letting Evan get out, and although I was nervous too we let Evan out close to us.  He saw the moon in the middle of the day, an airplane and the mountain at its clearest. He sat in a meadow of tall grass and flowers and had fun just looking around.  What a beautiful day.

We enjoy the beauty that is in our backyard, and appreciate the view from the eyes of a 2 year old!

So in love....

Taking time out of every day to say "I love you" and to hug my husband is just so important to our relationship.  Same to be said for taking time to tell Evan that I love him everyday and to give him those cuddles he wants and needs (I need them too).  When patience runs low (like it did today) it is especially important to make the time for love, it always builds me up.

Some of the things I love about Tony:

• He is an amazing husband and father
• He has the warmest hugs ever
• He would do ANYTHING for our family
• He has passion and ambition when it comes to getting something done
• He can fix anything
• He is not afraid to show emotion
• He truly cares for people and would give anyone the shirt off of his back
• He makes time everyday to cuddle our son and play with him
• When he tells me he loves me out of the blue
• Tons more....

Some of the things I love about Evan:

• His laugh
• The way he repeats EVERYTHING you say
• How quickly he is learning and picking up information and putting it all together
• His smile
• His cry
• His naked butt running down the hallway after a bath
• I LOVE when he says "mama cheek" and he wants to press his cheek to mine (like a secret kiss)
• How in tune he is to emotions.  I could be having a horrible day and shed some tear and he will stop whatever it is that he is doing to give me "mama ok?" hugs and cuddles
• How much he loves his daddy
• His cute little face
• The way he always has to have his binky and his blanket at the same time and the way he carries his blanket around
• Tons more.....

This is truly what family is all about, and though everyday is certainly not perfect, it is full of love because we are close and tight.  That is how it should be.

A Day in the Life of Evan

From the moment Evan wakes up he is a pretty happy guy.  Usually I am awake and taking some time for myself and he runs out of bed (our bed) and immediately into my arms, I love this time of day.  Sometimes I will not hear him and he pops his head around the corner of the living room with a big smile on his cute little face and says "HI MOM!"  We always have our cuddle time and watch a little TV, then we start our day.  Most days I can shower without him, but there are days that he just has to be involved so he jumps in the shower with me.  He LOVES his showers and just standing under the stream of water with a car in each hand.  We get dressed and decide what to do.  Clean the house, play outside, go to the park....who knows but each day bring new and exciting adventures for my little guy who is learning so much.  Just today he was playing play dough when he brought me a big blob of it and said "I did it!"  When I get really excited and tell him he did a good job he says "Awesome!"  Everything is exciting to him and its all new.  I wish he would remember these carefree days.  He eats a good lunch, loves strawberries and yogurt, and uses his fork and spoon like a pro.  Nap time comes and we cuddle in bed until he falls asleep.  Again he wakes up so happy and ready to go.  My son never sits still!  The afternoon brings more playtime and then dinner.  At dinner he eats what we eat.  No making something different for him.  He loves steak and broccoli and of course noodles.  Evan gets a bath and I can leave him alone in there now if I am close by.  This is my time to put laundry away and Evan plays so well on his own (although he makes a huge mess!) Evan and Tony and I sit, play, watch TV and then Evan is ready for bed.  He usually tells us when he is ready and does a great job going down (most nights).  The whole day is my favorite, but I love crawling into bed next to him and Tony and sleeping as a family (even if Evan is a bed hog) I know he is safe and sound where he is, and that helps me sleep.

Moving Forward

So, many people don't know this about our family but we recently went through the heartbreak of a miscarriage.  After YEARS of trying to conceive on our own, we were referred to Seattle Reproductive Medicine and decided to go the In Vetro Fertilization route.  Out of that experience we got our BEAUTIFUL little boy on the first try!  We also got 5 more embryos that we had frozen so that we could give Evan a younger sibling some day.  In March of this year we did our first attempt with frozen embryos, unfortunately it was unsuccessful.  But we had 3 more embryos and we were ready to give it another try!  We did just that in June of this year and happily found out we were pregnant! We were so excited we even told Evan that there was a baby in my tummy (it's a good thing he doesn't understand yet).  Sadly on the day we had an ultrasound to see the heartbeat, we found out that we were in the process of miscarrying.  Heartbroken, I knew I needed to stay strong.  After all I had a wonderful little boy to take care of.  I went home and held him tighter than ever and he kept me going.  While I am still in mourning, I am moving on.  We have no more frozen embryos and have exhausted our resources.  We are now in the process of getting the funding to do just one more fresh cycle, after all Evan was a product of a fresh cycle and research shows that frozen embryos are not as viable as fresh ones.  While I am sure many people think we should stop and not spend any more money on this, it is a decision that Tony and I have made.  I don't want to question myself in a few years and wonder "what if". What if I tried one more time?  Would we have another child?  I will not feel complete if I don't.  Moving forward. Going into a little debt. Having another child.....priceless!

Another place to brag!

So I am starting this blog, thanks to my friend Janel for the wonderful idea, and I feel like it's another place to boast about how much Evan is growing and how much I love being his mommy.  Will I honor my blog title and talk about the goings on in our family or will I change my title and make this blog all about motherhood and my son?  Who knows, but for now I am just beginning and I hope lots of ideas flow!